Government Issue Bathroom Tissue
Well the old man never liked to work
The very thought of it drove him berzerk
He said the workin' man ain't nothin' but a fool
He said he'd never punch the clock
He'd punch his boss and then he'd walk
He'd be damned before he'd ever lift a tool
So with the help from some of his veteran friends
He sent some letters to some Congressmen
He'd check our box everyday for a reply
Well first they sent a government letter
Then the things they sent started gettin' better
And now you can see we're livin' far and wide
Chorus:
'Cause we got government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall
(Yeah we got it all...y'all)
So if you're the type that don't like to work
Wanna sit around your house like a lazy jerk
Then listen real careful to my daddy's plan
Yeah come up with a story real pathetic
And write it down real poetic
Then send it to everybody in Congress, man
Chorus:
They'll give you government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall